Ummmm, I may not be too coherent if I'm on the next few days or weeks or what ever.
My grandmother, who helped my mother raise me for the first years of my life(cuz the sperm donor that knocked mommy dearest up split when he found out about me), has been in and out of the hospital since June. She's been getting recurring infections and she's diabetic and her organd are shutting down. She's bleeding out through her stomach and been in constant pain for the last week or so, in pain from the colostomy bag and catheter. They can't give her pain meds because they can't get her BP stabilized. The doctor has said that she won't recover so it's either stay hooked up to the machine and linger in the living hell that she's been in and survive for a teeny bit longer or shut the machines of and let her go in peace, where there is no pain.
My Grandmother has been begging to have the machines turned off since I went t osee her on Friday. She's been living in hell and my grandfather has finally decided to sign the DNR, today after making her live in pain 24/7 for almost a whole fuckling week! He's lucky he did cuz I was about ready to kick him in the nutz! I understand he's letting go of the woman he's loved for 50 years, but if you really love someone, you have to love them enough to end they're misery if they're begging you for release.
Anyway, I'll try not to answer too mant threads cuz I may not be sober for a while(Admittedly, I'm not right now). I'm going to stay with her until she goes tomorrow. I cried for joy that she's getting her wish, to go with dignity. But I feel like a complete asshole for actually wanting my Grandmother to die.
I'm just not in my right mind, lately so please don't take anything I say in a bad way and I will try not to post too much for fear of offending someone or getting all emotional and weird.
My grandmother, who helped my mother raise me for the first years of my life(cuz the sperm donor that knocked mommy dearest up split when he found out about me), has been in and out of the hospital since June. She's been getting recurring infections and she's diabetic and her organd are shutting down. She's bleeding out through her stomach and been in constant pain for the last week or so, in pain from the colostomy bag and catheter. They can't give her pain meds because they can't get her BP stabilized. The doctor has said that she won't recover so it's either stay hooked up to the machine and linger in the living hell that she's been in and survive for a teeny bit longer or shut the machines of and let her go in peace, where there is no pain.
My Grandmother has been begging to have the machines turned off since I went t osee her on Friday. She's been living in hell and my grandfather has finally decided to sign the DNR, today after making her live in pain 24/7 for almost a whole fuckling week! He's lucky he did cuz I was about ready to kick him in the nutz! I understand he's letting go of the woman he's loved for 50 years, but if you really love someone, you have to love them enough to end they're misery if they're begging you for release.
Anyway, I'll try not to answer too mant threads cuz I may not be sober for a while(Admittedly, I'm not right now). I'm going to stay with her until she goes tomorrow. I cried for joy that she's getting her wish, to go with dignity. But I feel like a complete asshole for actually wanting my Grandmother to die.
I'm just not in my right mind, lately so please don't take anything I say in a bad way and I will try not to post too much for fear of offending someone or getting all emotional and weird.
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